Choice Words of Restoration

      

"The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver..." Proverbs 10:20

     In this section of Proverbs the teacher is contrasting the blessings of the righteous to the fruit of the wicked.  In this instance we see how the words of the righteous are rewarding and satisfying.  There are so many ways we can explore how this saying is true, but let us look at how Jesus confronted Peter after the resurrection.

     In John 21:15-17 Jesus confronts Peter's denial and uses choice words to bring restoration.

(Actual text)

Jesus: "Do you love (agape) me?"
Peter: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (philia) you.”
Jesus" "Tend my lambs."

Jesus: “Do you love (agape) me?”
Peter: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (philia) you.”
Jesus: "Shepherd my sheep."

Jesus: “Do you love (philia) me?”
Peter: “You know that I love (philia) you.”

Jesus: "Tend my sheep."

     In most confrontations we see the anger of being betrayed, an admission of guilt, a request for forgiveness and then the granting of forgiveness.  I could have expected the conversation to go like this:

(hypothetically)

Jesus: "Peter! You betrayed me!"

Peter: "I know, but I was really pressured and didn't know what to do..."

Jesus: "Peter!  You left me all alone!"

Peter: "There wasn't enough of us, we couldn't overcome them."

Jesus: "Peter, I thought I could count on you"

Peter: "I know, I'm sorry"

Jesus: "OK, I understand...I forgive you."

     Jesus could have unloaded on Peter but instead he chose his words carefully to help bring restoration.  Could you imagine being Peter on the beach that day when he realized he was talking with the resurrected Christ?  After running away scared, abandoning Jesus and then denying him three times Peter demonstrated nothing short of cowardice and betrayal.  In response to Peter's actions Jesus simply asked him one question.

1.  "Do you (more than anyone else) love me?"  This question says it all.  The face to face question confronts the betrayal, confronts the abandonment and goes straight to the heart of the matter.  After all is said..."do you love me?"  What if this was a moment when a child confronted a parent who had been abandoned?  Choice words can help remove the shame of the sin and get straight to the heart of the matter..."do you want me?"

2.  "Do you (without waver) love me?"  What if this was a moment when a spouse was confronted about dependability?  The choice of words address the question of guilt and devotion.  Without unloading on someone and trying to shame them, you get straight to the matter..."do you  want to restore this relationship?"  

3.  "Do you (as close as a brother) love me?"  Too often when we have an altercation with a brother/sister in Christ, rather than working toward reconciliation we harbor bitterness.  The choice words of the righteous should always be precious.  At this point I imagine Peter had been nursing his shame with tremendous guilt.  With anxiety building within Peter throughout breakfast, the moment of reckoning had finally come.  Jesus simply ask..."do you love me?"  With Peter's third admission of love for Christ the heaviness was broken and Jesus reaffirms a third time Peter's role, "Be a good shepherd to my sheep."  Confrontation can be merciful.  

      The words we use, our tone and body gesture all portray our heart.  I pray that we guard our heart, distribute mercy generously and use choice words that relieve the anxiety of stressed relationships.

     

We need #Reconciliation

False Growth

"The seed that fell among the thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature." Luke 8:14


     On my last day off from work I engaged in one of my favorite past times, yard work!  However; on this particular day I needed to clear away a few bushes and small tress on the back side of my yard that met with a wood line.  What I thought was going to be a few hours of removal turned into a thorn infested fiasco.  As I looked at the tree line from my back deck, I thought I was enjoying the lush green row of bushes and trees that connected my yard to the woods.  As I got into the tree line I found myself in a thicket that had overrun the entire area.  I tore my cloths, scratched my arms up and fought the entire day to only cut the thicket back enough to have three 10 ft. piles of brush that needed to be hauled off.  Almost every tree had vines growing up it that branched off into huge leafy canopies.  As I pulled the thirty foot long vines down I was amazed at how I could not see the false green in the trees.

     For several hours I contemplated the parable of the seed and sower found in Luke.  The thorns had grown up through the bushes and around the trees so subtly that what appeared to be good healthy growth was actually weeds blocking the sun and inhibiting what we wanted.  The vines had overtaken several trees and their leaves masked the bare limbs.  The Lord impressed on my heart that "this is how weeds overtake someone's life."  Very slowly fear, anxiety and distracting coping mechanisms overtake the hope in your heart and your ability to reason in faith.  When the worries of life become strong enough they block you from the light, separating you from the spiritual source of life and growth.  When you look at yourself from a distance you may appear to be lush and green.  You may appear to be healthy and full of growth, but when you get into the weeds you find that there is more fear than faith growing in your life.     

     What an overgrown mess to fight through.  It was no simple task removing unwanted thorns and vines that slowly made their way around everything.  Fortunately, by getting right in the middle of the thicket, I was able to determine what needed to stay and what needed to go.

     Maybe we can take a closer look at the individual elements that make up our lives rather than glossing over who we are as a whole.  Maybe we see leafy growth in our lives that looks good from a distance, but it is actually the "riches and pleasures" that give us a false sense of growth.  A personal examination may be painful to work through, but well worth the effort when we come out of the thicket of anxiety and doubt.