Choice Words of Restoration

      

"The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver..." Proverbs 10:20

     In this section of Proverbs the teacher is contrasting the blessings of the righteous to the fruit of the wicked.  In this instance we see how the words of the righteous are rewarding and satisfying.  There are so many ways we can explore how this saying is true, but let us look at how Jesus confronted Peter after the resurrection.

     In John 21:15-17 Jesus confronts Peter's denial and uses choice words to bring restoration.

(Actual text)

Jesus: "Do you love (agape) me?"
Peter: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (philia) you.”
Jesus" "Tend my lambs."

Jesus: “Do you love (agape) me?”
Peter: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (philia) you.”
Jesus: "Shepherd my sheep."

Jesus: “Do you love (philia) me?”
Peter: “You know that I love (philia) you.”

Jesus: "Tend my sheep."

     In most confrontations we see the anger of being betrayed, an admission of guilt, a request for forgiveness and then the granting of forgiveness.  I could have expected the conversation to go like this:

(hypothetically)

Jesus: "Peter! You betrayed me!"

Peter: "I know, but I was really pressured and didn't know what to do..."

Jesus: "Peter!  You left me all alone!"

Peter: "There wasn't enough of us, we couldn't overcome them."

Jesus: "Peter, I thought I could count on you"

Peter: "I know, I'm sorry"

Jesus: "OK, I understand...I forgive you."

     Jesus could have unloaded on Peter but instead he chose his words carefully to help bring restoration.  Could you imagine being Peter on the beach that day when he realized he was talking with the resurrected Christ?  After running away scared, abandoning Jesus and then denying him three times Peter demonstrated nothing short of cowardice and betrayal.  In response to Peter's actions Jesus simply asked him one question.

1.  "Do you (more than anyone else) love me?"  This question says it all.  The face to face question confronts the betrayal, confronts the abandonment and goes straight to the heart of the matter.  After all is said..."do you love me?"  What if this was a moment when a child confronted a parent who had been abandoned?  Choice words can help remove the shame of the sin and get straight to the heart of the matter..."do you want me?"

2.  "Do you (without waver) love me?"  What if this was a moment when a spouse was confronted about dependability?  The choice of words address the question of guilt and devotion.  Without unloading on someone and trying to shame them, you get straight to the matter..."do you  want to restore this relationship?"  

3.  "Do you (as close as a brother) love me?"  Too often when we have an altercation with a brother/sister in Christ, rather than working toward reconciliation we harbor bitterness.  The choice words of the righteous should always be precious.  At this point I imagine Peter had been nursing his shame with tremendous guilt.  With anxiety building within Peter throughout breakfast, the moment of reckoning had finally come.  Jesus simply ask..."do you love me?"  With Peter's third admission of love for Christ the heaviness was broken and Jesus reaffirms a third time Peter's role, "Be a good shepherd to my sheep."  Confrontation can be merciful.  

      The words we use, our tone and body gesture all portray our heart.  I pray that we guard our heart, distribute mercy generously and use choice words that relieve the anxiety of stressed relationships.

     

We need #Reconciliation